my ghosts won’t give up on me
BLAH BLAH BLAH I AM A HUMAN AND THESE ARE WORDS ABOUT MY DAILY FUNCTIONS:
- I was up until 6am despite needing to leave for work at 10 last. In lieu of sleep and self-control, I decided to buy some stuff! Like some Farewell Continental gear: this, five of these ($1 each?!), this because I’ve misplaced the one I bought at their show (aka my favorite article of clothing I’ve ever paid for) (sorry lady for putting your photo on my blog but apparently it’s the only picture of it on the Internet) even though I hate white shirts, and shirts with album covers, and album covers that feature the band…but my love for them overrules all that); another Doctor Who tee (the other one being this, which is amazing!); and Revolutions on Canvas I (I bought the second one a few years ago mostly based on wanting to read Pete Wentz’ piece (which was total shit) and Justin Pierre’s (which I creepy loved and reread and which inspired me immensely. In fact, I just found the bare bones of an old short story I wanted to write back in 07 that is so heavily influenced by JP’s story, I’m a little ashamed. I’ll probably be posting it, along with the other stories/poems I found.)
- Starting to enjoy using Twitter again. Turns out people like me more with my (attempted) funny rather than my (attempted) poetry (ie dumb whining) and it’s way more fun with engaging people!
- Work today was so fucking awful. I was pale and sweaty and my eyes looked all bruised, because I was so exhausted from staying up that all I did was haphazardly smear some eyeliner on and pull my hair back in a severe bun. Yeesh. Then, of course, it turns out they had a huge breakfast banquet so everything was crazy and messy and I was responsible for cleaning up that as well as doing my normal work for the lunch shift. However the cook working (Danielle) likes me for some reason (apparently I have funny facial expressions?) and she helped me out so much. So grateful because I felt so ill… nearly wept with relief when I finally walked out the door.
- Working tomorrow and then my boyfriend is picking me up and it will be like letting out a breath I’ve been holding all week. He’s the only thing I’m doing right with my life and it’s so comforting being with him. Working Mon-Fri is totally worth it since it means I have weekends off and I get to spend just that little bit more time with him.
- Mama misses her Skyrim but my tv is so shitty it hurts. I think I’ve been preferring the Internet to playing because I’d rather play on the nice new flatscreen I’ll be buying next Saturday, and why waste any more game on that horrible, clunky old one?
- Why is it that I only feel productive when I’m on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion or feeling really ill? Is it my brain trying to trick me into not hating myself completely since I can say, “Oh, I feel productive sometimes at least! I’m not always lazy!” without actually having to, yknow, do some work? On account of being tired or sick? Who knows. It needs to cut the shit though.
- I wanna look into going to school but I have no idea where to start. Like, with financial aid and everything. I know I can get into a school no problem despite my attendance and grades from high school because my state test scores and SAT scores are fucking baller. Before I dropped out, I was given a scholarship that would pay 100% of tuition to any state school as long as I maintained a certain GPA. Too bad the chemicals in my head didn’t really care and instead immersed me in so many mental health issues I couldn’t get out of bed and was therefore denied credit. Passed my GED with flying colors though, so. At least I can say I have that.
- MY HAIR DOES NOT HOLD HAIR DYE. It’s been what, 2 weeks and already I can see glints of brown coming through. If anyone has bothered to read this far, know of any superhero black hair dye?!
- I’ve stopped eating much. Again.
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darkstar2703 said:
Plus, you have been talking to me again. Which is totally the best thing to have ever happened. Can I pull off egotistical?
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galaxyeater posted this
